Names to be Enjoyed

After 25 years of service with the United States Postal Service, my father retired. Throughout those 25 years however, he had been compiling a lengthy list of noteworthy names he had seen in the mail. The following list had been cut down from over 400 names. Read them out loud if you can, and feel free to comment about your favorite. Pay special attention to the "Wang" section, you won't regret it. Believe me, I understand all the cultural reasoning behind some of these names, but that does not make them any less funny to a WASP like me. If you find this list to be inappropriate, and deeply offensive, please feel free to curse my name 'til the day you die. For the rest of you red-blooded Americans, enjoy!



Oscar Asmann
Prikh Aroo
Sabu Baddik
Myrtle Balwinder
Hassan Bangas
Jim Beam
Billy Beaver
Belinda Belcher
Bugslaw Bitz
Baby Blimpy
Grandfather Bolloni
Seymour Boynk
Beverly Brabender
Shittah Brahmbatt
Resdidudo Brine
Elmer Butz
Muhammed Calhoun
Chauncey Cheeks
Chi Ching
Ricky Christ
Pepe Colon
Rusty Dedik
Nita Dedmann
Danny Deeselhead
Donald Dick
Dipak Diharia
Dick Dipper
Canary Dong
Darious Doody
Innocent Dou Dou
Cleophus Duckman
Luther Dumpmann
Master DuPee
Timmy Eichman
Muffy Einstein
Ashoo Eshoo
Dr. Fang
Grandma Fang
Franz Fatt
Jean Claude Feggot
Constance Flemm
Mom Flesch
Frederick Flickfinger
Ma Fudge
Dotty Fusz
Helmut Giggy
Zero Glug
Meezo Gnat
Bong Goo
Yung Joo Goo
Gay Grubb
Poonmanh Gupta
Tiffany Gutt
Boo Hagg
Clarabelle Head
Po Ho
Sweengen Ho
Johnny Hobo
Yu Hu
Ben Huh
Yoyo Hwang
Randolph Twisleton Inch
Porntip Itchit
Yahkahm Swee Jee
Agamemnon Jones
Suk Yung Joo
Esmerelda Kaka
Hee Suk Kao
Tusk Kashabubu
Toto Khathakanthapixay
Dusty Kielbasa
Phineas Kill
Candy Kiss
Yoko Koko
Romeo Kola
Calypso Kow
Yung Kow
Mother Krautwurst
Yum Kum
Grandmother Lidlikir
Lisa Lipps
Sugar Lippschitz
Nguyen (pronounced “win”) Phuc Long
Les Luck
Mama Lyvengood
Sebastian Magoo
B.J. Midjett
Lucky Mold
Butterfly Moose
Federated Mut
Skwat Nanayayarara
Prunella Nork
Yumi Ogg
Grandfather Organ
Cochise Orony
Constance Oynky
Anil Oyuk
Romeo Pantaloon
Apu Patel
Ashit Patel
Atit Patel
Bipi Patel
Hardik Patel
Heman Patel
Maniak Patel
Perv Patel
Punkash Patel
Rahmandeep Patel
Rick Patel
Sweety Patel
Luigi Patooie
Pinky Peach
Alpo Pecker
Sgt. Nick Penas
Elvis Pickle
Pastor Pie
Armando Pigg
Papa Pisano
Olga Piskup
Maximillian Pisz
Poppy Poindexter
Senorita Poisson
Kook Poo
Shirley Poon
Urbano Pounce
Senor Presto
Osgood Seeman
Dungo Shanks
Grandfather Shanks
Honey Shankz
Joe Slaw
Daddy Smoot
Melbo Snapps
Dung Song
Cleopatra Staines
Junior Stompanotto
Kudlip Stump
Joe Sucato
Muhammed Sullami
Zdzylywz Swetlik
Johnny Taco
Adolph Thong
Bobo Tickle
Sandy Tidi
Ting Ting
Pastor Tingle
Skyler Tinkle
Hildegarde Toole
Yoyo Tung
Mi Wang
Mo Wang
No Wang
Rong Wang
Suk Mo Wang
Washmee Wawa
Wolfgang Weener
Dr. Winkenferfel
Mi Woo Woo
Holly Wood
Harry Wunder
Milton Wurm
Oldoc Yac
Yaha Yaya
Yehudi Yerboodi
Wilfredo Zilch