1. Name Things. Naming things makes you enjoy and appreciate those things. You think it is easy to discard a 30-year old table named "Lois"? No. I love naming all kinds of things, inanimate objects especially. I have a little desk fan named "Dalton" and a truck named "Denise". If you don't have enough objects to name them all, you need less objects. Keep a list of good names that you like when you think of them, and refer to it the next time you buy a TV, or adopt a person.
2. Make Up a Language. J.R.R. Tolkien started making up a language when he was a little kid, like we all do. Except, he didn't stop into his adulthood, and instead wrote a book that included elves, and made it theirs. Today, at some really cool colleges, you can take an Elvish class. I'm not saying you need to go that far, but just making little phrases mean something else can be special. If you have a significant other, this is especially easy, and I'm sure you already do this. In mine and Jessica's household words like "snap (n)" and "Incubate (v)" have very different meanings than they do out there. Just today in fact, the phrase "Fuzzy curry" entered our language. Beat that Tolkien.
3. Take a Scheduled 20 min Nap. I was once addicted to napping, and looked forward to it everyday much like any addict. However, if you can learn to control it, it can become something that actually improves your existence, rather than giving you that feeling of utter confusion when you wake up at 7pm after a 2 hour nap, then can't sleep that night. The trick has to do with the hall of fame rock group R.E.M. If you cut your nap off before entering into a R.E.M. cycle (probably Losing My Religion, Orange Crush, What's Your Frequency Kenneth & Man On the Moon), you won't wake up feeling more tired than before you were put down for a nap. You have to show discipline though, and not let yourself push that nap into The Great Beyond.
4. Eat Chocolate. This is probably no surprise to anyone, but I'm suggesting doing it guilt free. If you really wanna feel good, workout like crazy in anticipation of eating a whole bowl of peanut M&Ms, with Chocolate milk, like cereal. I read somewhere that eating chocolate is suppose to be biologically the same as having sex. I don't sweat nearly as much when eating chocolate, but I understand what they mean.
5. Commit R.A.K.s (Random Acts of Kindness) Yes, you have no doubt heard this before too, but I want you to get creative with it. Hide a $5.00 bill in a children's book at the library, send a random hand-written card to someone for no reason at all, give- I give the homeless decks of playing cards with a dollar in the front. Hey, I've got a shitload of them and who doesn't need a new deck of cards? (besides me). Either I encourage homeless people to learn how to count card, thus improving their station in life, or littering. I prefer to think the former.
6. Drink Wine. Yes, I sell wine, and this is can be seen as a shameless plug, but I wouldn't ditch an expensive degree to teach high school for the wine biz unless I truly saw the fruits (pun very intended) of the labor being incredibly beneficial to all. If you say you don't like wine, try again. Just because that sip of Columbia Crest Merlot you had when you were 19 sucked, doesn't mean you should write off the most popular fermented beverage on the planet. You just need to find the right one, and learn more about it. AND it makes you feel good!
7. Read and Write Everyday. You don't need to pen some epic tome, or read Shakespeare everyday; just something. Write down some thoughts, stream of consciousness-type stuff and see where it goes. Read an article from the newspaper, or a preferred website (maybe even a friend's humorous, yet insightful irregular blog). Simply doing a little of both everyday will keep you sharp, up on things, and give you that I've-Got-My-Shit-Together feel.
8. Eat More Butter. Forget that chemically engineered "I can't believe actually people eat this plastic" butteresque product. Do five push-ups and put some real-ass butter on that biscuit. Julia Child called for butter on her butter, and now I'm saying it too. I've never come across any food product that isn't at least just as good doused in butter. "What about fruit" you may say? Ever pan-fried a sliced pear in butter? No, of course not, because you could just as easily smear that butter on piece of meat. Best use for and quote about butter: "Go get the butter."- Marlon Brando in Last Tango In Paris.
9. Do Activities Unusual to You. Jessica and I are doing archery, and will also be doing fencing soon. Now, if we did this every week, it wouldn't be unusual anymore, but for now it is fresh and exciting. Groupon is great for this kinda shit. See what kind of interesting deals they have going on and jump on it. Rarely do I regret interesting experiences, even if they were not enjoyable at the time. When you're drawing a bow at a target, you aren't wishing you were sitting on ass watching Seinfeld in syndication. Years from now you would feel more satisfied with your life if you could say you did stand-up at an open-mic night in Chicago and got booed off the stage, than if you couldn't recall a single significant weekend because you were drinking Miller Lite on draft at the same bar you always frequent, hoping that somehow a hot girl's car will break down and need specifically you to drive her home (breath).
10. Seek Balance. Okay, this one is a little open-ended, but hear me out. One of my fav writers, Neil Strauss, advocates that if you devote just 20 minutes a day fulfilling something in each of the following categories: Physical, Mental, Spiritual and Professional Health, then you will be a more enjoyable person to be around. So, jog for 20 mins, do the New York Times crossword for 20 mins, meditate for 20 mins, and I hope you work for at least 20 minutes a day anyway.
These also work very well combined. Some of my fav combos include: (4, 6, 7) and (8,9). Combine them all, and you will achieve Nirvana Unplugged.
