Friending the Dead

In my short time on earth, and even shorter time on the internet, I have seen more people pass away than I thought I would by now. The biggest difference between now, and ten years ago, is the liklihood that when I lose a friend now, it does not necessarily mean that I lose a facebook friend.

What happens to your facebook account when you die?

When an old friend of mine from childhood passed away in a motorcycle accident, his facebook page was bombarded with wall posts and even private messages. These wall posts were from friends and family, saying goodbye, or sharing a fond memory of the deceased. I found it interesting that his facebook page became even more relevant after he had passed away.

After somone holding a facebook account passes away, his account won't change unless action is taken by his friends or family, as facebook does not of yet delete accounts of the departed. If a close friend, or family member dies, you can report it at the following link, where his/her page will either become a memorial page, or be deleted, depending on your wishes. Hopefully you don't act alone in the decision making.

http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=deceased


A memorial page acts like a normal facebook page, but with important differences: You can no longer sign into it, contact information and status updates are removed, the profile is closed to anyone that was not the person's friend at the time of their death, their page cannot be found through searches, and you cannot accept a pending friend request from the person (Oh, noooow you wanna be friends?). The rest of the deceased's profile information is kept intact, along with their wall, and photos (Though I don't know if you can continue to tag them).

In a way, their facebook page becomes something of a cyber-grave, for you to visit. The advantage to this modern grave is that instead of standing outside, talking to a cold piece of rock, you can browse through old photos, leave public wall posts, or send private messages to the lost. It is a much more inviting, if less personal experience. Of course, these messages go unanswered, as they pile up in the inbox, but the thought that somehow your lost loved one is getting the message, is comforting.

Yes, you can report someone as being dead, even if they are not. So far, it doesn't look like there is much to be done about it should someone pull this morbid prank on you (cyber haunt them?).

As most facebook users are still relatively young, there are not as many of these memorial pages as there will be in the years to come. Should facebook survive as is for the next few decades, we will see a great deal of these phantom facebook pages. For the now, facebook has the money and the space to maintain a "no delete" policy regarding these pages, but this may not always be the case.

Facebook has grown to unimagined size since its creation in 2004, and holds an immense amount of importance to its 500 millions users. So much so in fact, that it seems almost necessary to include your facebook password, and instructions regarding your account, in your will: "Should I come to an untimely death, please sign into my account, remove the following 'friends', and change my status to- 'Bought the farm. I'll see ya when I see ya'- and change my relationship status to- 'its really fucking complicated'- thanks!" Certainly, noone could imagine facebook would become this important when it was created. Sure, you left instructions for your facebook account, but what should we do with your dog?

How many facebook phantoms are you friends with? Lets just hope they never send you an event invitation, especially to a "barbecue"...