Odd Things I Do That You Do Too

There are things that I do, that I'm not exactly sure why. They are little, odd things that I want to share with you, because I'm sure you do some odd things too. Read on, and feel free to share...

* When I use the microwave, I will often microwave everything for either 1 or 2 minutes, no matter what it is. If it is something complicated though, I will usually use some random amount of time. 1 minute 20 seconds seems like it wouldn't be enough, but 1 minute 30 seconds would be too much. 1 minute 27 seconds? This porridge is just right...

* When I'm walking, and I see a perfect looking stick (all jokes aside, straight, long and true) I will pick that stick the hell up and carry it for blocks. I don't need a stick, not even for defending myself, but I will wave it around as I pass by people who probably expect me to assault them with it. Eventually I will grow tired of the stick, or arrive at my destination- where they likely frown on people carrying sticks indoors (work, the dentist, court)- and will discard said stick. I once found a stick so great though, that I left it outside the local grocer so I could carry it on the way home too. Upon leaving, I was disappointed to find that my stick was gone, proving that at least one other person does the same thing.

* Similar to the stick-carrying thing (maybe) I don't wear suits enough that It isn't still a novelty. You know you don't wear suits enough if when you're wearing one you pretend to be one or more of the following people: Spy, assassin, bodyguard, secret service agent, railroad mogul, talk-show host, mafioso, Mayor of Chocolate Town. It may be subtle, but you're talking into your wrist or pretending your buddy is your chauffeur. I am not looking forward to a time when I have to wear a suit on a regular basis for any other reason than playing pretend at someone's wedding.

* I have never, ever finished a cough drop or piece of candy without losing my patience and chewing it. Not a big deal, but I've taken an odd sense of pride in the longer I can resist eating Halls like popcorn.

* During a game of catch with the 'ol pigskin, I have to resist being that guy that eventually punts the thing. Everyone hates that guy, and I have no idea why I have the urge to do so. After awhile of toss though, the idea of kicking the ball as hard as one can is a lot more satisfying than what you've been doing. Punting the ball is usually a signal that the session of catch is nearing its end, as two guys punting a football back and forth cannot last long.

* I make an attempt to literally throw garbage away (assuming it isn't noxious and there aren't a lot of people around) before walking it to the trash and disposing of it properly. I have been reprimanded for this by more than one "authority" figure. It just makes good 'ol American sense though- why would I walk my ass to the trash when I have even a slight chance of making whatever refuse I'm hurling into the can, making any walking unnecessary. If I make it, I pretend it's no-big-deal and pretend not to care if people notice, and if I miss, I just make the trip across the room I would have had to anyway. If you walk things to an open trash bin, you're just not as smart as me.

* I have before, and will again, pee in a sink. Your sink.

* I take an odd sense of satisfaction when I finish something. Not like a project, or workout or anything one SHOULD feel good about finishing, but things like a bottle of shampoo. I will feel good about not wasting the shampoo though too. It's like, you did a good job rationing this shampoo for a long time, and now you get to reward yourself with a NEW bottle of shampoo. Who knows how the technology of shampoo has progressed since you were last in the market?!

That's enough for now....