While working at the now history Fox & Hound Sports bar on the morning of Thanksgiving, I met someone I could only meet at the casino.
He walked into my life while the bar was vacant, at around 11:30am. An averaged-height Italian man in his mid-thirties, his attire was one of the most ridiculous I've ever seen, even by casino standards. From head to toe, he had greasy, black disheveled hair; giant designer sunglasses; a three-day beard; gold necklaces, ring, bracelets, and ear rings; a white tee-shirt announcing the wearer to be a "LIFEGUARD"; under a massive white mink fur coat; gray sweat pants; and finally $2,000 Italian leather dress shoes (I only know because he told me).
 |
| Artist representation |
The conversation went something like this...
GUY
Hey man, do you have any cognac?
SAM
We have Hennessy and Courvasier, both VS.
GUY
Naw, I don't want any of that cheap Hennessy shit; what's the other one you said?
SAM
Courvasier VS.
GUY
Yeah, gimme that.*
(I pour him a standard casino pour of Courvasier)
GUY
What the fuck is that?
SAM
It's a ounce and a half, they won't let me pour any more than that.
GUY
That's fuckin' bullshit man, it's for my teeth man, don't you care about my fuckin' teeth man?
SAM
What?
GUY
My teeth man, they're killin' me man. Driving through the tolls with the windows down, the draft man, the fuckin' draft is killin' my teeth. Do you have a rag or a napkin man?
(I had him a few napkins. He proceeds to roll them up, dip them in the snifter of cognac, and bit down on it)
SAM
Do you want to open a tab, or pay now?
GUY
I don't give a fuck man, my teeth!
(He pulls a hundred from a roll of other hundreds and throws it on the bar. I make change, and place it on the bar.)
GUY
My name's Danny.
SAM
Where ya from Danny?
DANNY
Long distance man, long distance (motioning far away)
SAM
You sound like you're from the East coast.
DANNY
Long distance man.
SAM
Right.
DANNY
I even wen to the dentist man, professional all the way**
SAM
And your teeth still hurt?
DANNY
Yeah man, those fuckin' tolls. I gotta make a phone call (gets up and walks outside, where he paces, talks on his cell, and chain smokes 100s)
(Coming back inside)
DANNY
Fuckin' snow is gonna ruin my fuckin' shoes man. These are $2,000 Italian leather shoes, man.
SAM
Yeah, they look nice. I wouldn't have worn them today.
DANNY
I was in a hurry. (muttering now)...Danny Long-Distance...
[The rest my my experience with Danny L.D. was him walking by periodically between smoke breaks, saying "Danny Long-Distance". I think he liked the new nick-name he had given for himself. I suspect that he was some sort of mid-level mobster, and that he was on cocaine. He was almost certainly crazy though]
*- Hennessy is more expensive, and in my opinion better than Courvasier.
**- WHO THE FUCK HAS AN AMATEUR DENTIST?!?
No comments:
Post a Comment