As I expected, Hill the security guard doesn't cease to amaze. Some of his most recent revelations...
HILL
You know I got something to tell you.ME
What's up Hill?
HILL
Sandra Sanchez: Half black, half Puerto Rican. Pow! Peanut butter skin and Egyptian eyes. You can read the hieroglyphics on the wall Sam; I brought some of that Moscato. I don't know what it is man. No more strike outs when I got that Moscato. Patricia?Who she? She get possessive man. I can't go down to the corner for a beer because she thinks I'm meeting a woman. Sandra Sanchez- soft as Walgreens cotton!
(Exit Hill)
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HILL
This liquor man, you gotta know yer limits, man.
ME
Well, yeah.
HILL
I remember my first time losing control, man. I was 17, and my buddy Hussie's mom was a barmaid, so he come in with a fif a gin and a fif a some brown liquor, under his coat. We were at another buddy's basement.
ME
So, what happened?
HILL
I blacked out. When I came to, I was fighting this one guy, Tream, from around the corner.
ME
Why were you fighting?
HILL
I don't know, but he musta crossed me, or somethin'.
ME
I see.
HILL
We just kept swingin' at each other and missin', cuz we were so messed up off that gin. I lost control.
ME
So how did it end?
HILL
Our friends broke it up, and I left. I don't remember going home.
ME
Yeah, that happens a lot. I got real drunk off gin when I was...
HILL
I don't remember do'!
ME
Yeah.
HILL
I saw him again do', Tream. When I was sober.
ME
Yeah? What happened?
HILL
I beat his ass. I told him I was sober now, and wanted to finish, but he didn't want to. I still beat on him do'.
ME
What for? You don't even remember what happened.
HILL
He musta crossed me do'...for me to get that mad. I was real mad.
(I take it this was the last time Hill let himself get drunk, because he later told me this...)
HILL
You gotta know your limits, if you a man, you gotta know.
ME
It is part of being an adult.
HILL
When I go out with a lady friend, and they ask why I'm only having a drink, I tell them, "How am I supposed to protect you if I'm drunk?"
ME
That makes sense, I guess.
HILL
You gotta know your limits, man.
(Considering our previous conversations, it doesn't surprise me that Hill seems to have this sense of protecting his resource of women with Hippo-like ferocity.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HILL
What advice would you give a 14 year-old boy?
ME
Ummmm...like in general?
HILL
Yeah.
ME
Wear condoms, I guess?
(Hill walks away)
ME
???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HILL
I got this cousin, man.
ME
What's up Hill?
HILL
He's seeing this dancer, a stripper.
ME
Oh?
HILL
Every time I see this guy he's got a handful a ass.
(Exit Hill)
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Now, I'm not the only person that Hill talks to this way. In fact, he uses the same routine on anyone who is within earshot of him. Throughout his shift, he will actually perfect the speech. I managed to overhear a preview of one of the above conversations and snapped a photo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HILL
What advice would you give a 14 year-old boy?
ME
Ummmm...like in general?
HILL
Yeah.
ME
Wear condoms, I guess?
(Hill walks away)
ME
???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HILL
I got this cousin, man.
ME
What's up Hill?
HILL
He's seeing this dancer, a stripper.
ME
Oh?
HILL
Every time I see this guy he's got a handful a ass.
(Exit Hill)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, I'm not the only person that Hill talks to this way. In fact, he uses the same routine on anyone who is within earshot of him. Throughout his shift, he will actually perfect the speech. I managed to overhear a preview of one of the above conversations and snapped a photo.
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