The Ten People You Meet In Transit

Relying on public transit regularly, I come across all kinds of interesting and not so interesting people everyday. Though 95% of them I'll never see again, I have boiled them all down into these simple groups, making it seem like I see the same faces everyday.

Pre-Med College Students- Cancer, your days are numbered. Or at least that is what the amount of reading these people do on the train would suggest. They are always in a hurry, and give dirty looks to the guy playing rap music with no headphones, as they try to study.

Guy Playing Rap Music From His iPhone Without Earbuds, Singing Along to it Loudly- He doesn't give a fuck that you're studying, old, or otherwise bothered by his behavior; he's playing what he thinks is the best music to ever grace Pandora, and probably singing along to it at random parts, off of any key there may be. He has no shame, but still more than the homeless guy asking for change.

Homeless Guy Asking For Change- Let me just say that I feel for this guy. I'll probably even write a blog specifically about this guy. However, he is still one of the ten people you meet on the L. After a long day of this, he may even become...

That Guy That Falls Asleep in a Way That Looks Like He's Dead- Maybe he just dug a hundred graves, or maybe he is coming down from a good free-basing session. Either way, he has been asleep for the entire hour you've been on the Red line, and you wonder how long ago he missed his stop. He has crumbs on his beard from what appears to have been some kind of pastry, and you can't. Stop. Staring.

The Suit- He probably just moved here from Indianapolis for a job in insurance, selling bathroom tile, or something equally unfulfilling. Either way, he looks so rightfully nervous about the hateful guy eying his kindle that he can't even finish reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince for the second time.

The Hateful Guy/Lady- What reason do they have for being so hateful, who knows? As it is, they take it out on the public in interesting and sometimes frightening ways. Occasionally they say things like, "Fuck fuck fuck you you you fucking you" while flicking you off, as you pretend to be looking out the window. Other times they just wet themselves all over an otherwise good seat, on a crowded train, robbing suburban tourists of a place to rest.

The Suburban Tourist- They are surprising the loudest on the train, as they are on some kind of little vacation instead of hauling tired ass to and from shitty job. Everyone else in the car looks at them with stone-cold resentment. In that moment, any passenger (including the hipsters) would kill them just so they don't have to hear another word about how none of them really know the guy throwing this party, but that so-and-so's cousin will probably get too drunk and jeopardize their graduating from prep school.

The Hipster/Artsy Chick- Their sunglasses will be the most expensive thing they have on, as they otherwise wear amazing techno-colored dream rags that hold the fascination of the mother of four's four. They will be listening to the Fleet Foxes, but you won't know it, as they will keep entirely to themselves, even in the company of other hipsters/artsy chicks.

The Mother of Four- This is another person I feel for. She sometimes has to simultaneously push a double stroller while dragging a screaming toddler behind her to catch a train. Once on board, the mother will feed them McDonald's while they stare at the above mentioned people you meet in transit.

If you ride the L, you are one of these people. Or, you are me, the tenth person. If you happen to see me, leave me the hell alone.