Observing the Human Adolescent

Last week, I was working on completing required observation hours for my graduate course in education. I went with some classmates to a North-West suburban school. Though I was there to observe the teachers, I found it hard to ignore the students. This is what I observed about the Human Adolescent:

The social order has not changed. Students still fit into only a few categories of teen. Indeed, the more the Human Adolescent thinks they are an individual, the less they are:

"Dude, I'm not gonna to go to the dance, it's gonna be lame as balls. I'm not gonna go just because everyone else is going." No, but this student will NOT go because everyone else is going. He is the classic teenager's definition of a rebel, a stand alone, yet blind to the reality that just about every thought he has, someone has had before him. He's so novel.

The H.A. is all about touching. Any kind will do. They hug hello to every girl they know, and go through elaborately orchestrated hand shakes  with their "bros" before anything else happens. In a decent-sized group, this whole ritual can take up to 5 minutes, or roughly an entire passing period between classes. If given the opportunity to "hang out" (with the only source of entertainment being their own angst), they will carry on with guys punching, tackling, wrestling, and slapping each other. Once their Alpha-maleness gains the attention of some female H.A., the male will grab her, and carry her around while she screams half-hearted protests. If the female decides instead to avoid him, the male will give chase until capturing her, then continuing on with said touching. If a female truly wants nothing to do with a particular male, she will approach a much-desired male to enlist his "protection". This male then has open permission to prove his ability to "protect" her from what is presumably a beta-male, or less (though males lower than betas are rarely allowed near the Alpha females to begin with).  Successfully "protecting" the female, this Alpha-male will then be rewarded with her attention, including more, and often escalated touching.

In the cafeteria, they still serve Kemp's Milk, and chicken patties. Now engulfed in these creatures, the same urges surface again. Chin up, chest out, you feel cooler than you ever did in your life. "I'm a mother-fucking (sometimes literally) adult. I buy alcohol, tobacco, and firearms on the reg, and if so inclined, I vote. I'm a respected fuckin' member of society, and I have you little shits all figured out."

Walking through the masses of H.A.'s, you see the Alpha-male, and wish he would challenge you. Because, how dare he not give you the opportunity to emasculate him in front of his peers, and demonstrate how fuckin' cool, and over this petty shit you are. How dare he.